Making Soup

I don't want to brag, but my four-year old son (4) is on the road to becoming a world-class chef. No kidding. I am doing everything in my power to help 4 practice his cooking craft in the kitchen. I have to say, the early results are promising. 4 calls his preferred technique "making soup," but really, he is just being modest. His culinary masterpieces go far beyond mere soups. I now have no doubt that my boy is going to be a top-notch chef (which beats his earlier career choice of "leaf blower" - true story). At the risk of giving away his cooking secrets, I will share with you a little glimpse of his cooking technique.

First, 4 gets out a giant plastic mixing bowl and a large spoon. 4 does not use an apron, nor any measuring devices. Like any true food artist, he goes strictly by instinct. Typically, he will start with a liquid base. However, he has moved way beyond simply using water. More often, he will start with corn syrup, vegetable oil, or orange juice. Then, he moves to the spices. Over time, 4 meticulously worked his way through our entire spice rack until all were empty. He has now moved on to anything that looks like it will add just the right flavor to his soup. Tea bags, wild rice, powdered milk, baking soda, baking powder, chocolate milk mix, pancake mix, wild rice, you name it, it's been in a soup made by 4. However, every soup he has ever made has included The Big Four - flour, sugar, salt and pepper. This is 4's calling card, it is how other chefs will always be able to identify a soup as 4's culinary concoction. Finallly, after the soup is properly spiced, 4 likes to top it off with either cake sprinkles or eggs. However, only 4 can say when a soup is officially "done." Because he is obviously a perfectionist, he often says that his soup needs "one more ingredient," and, because I am not a world-class chef (and am not even training to be one), I am not really in any position to tell him otherwise.

Today, 4 outdid himself. I knew he had cooking skill, but I didn't realize how special he was until today. Imagine a soup containing horseradish, salsa, garlic, soy sauce, mustard, salad dressing, cinammon rolls, rice, orange juice, brown sugar, milk and pickles. Are you salivating? Well, you don't even have to imagine it anymore because today 4 cooked it. Yup, right in my kitchen. Under my very nose this masterpiece came together. Next time we have company, everyone is going to be in for a special treat.

Invariably, I get called upon to taste 4's soups, which I find to be a special treat for me. Often, I find that I am "too full" to sample these soups, which is too bad, because I would sincerely like to see how something like 4 puts together would taste. It is often up to me to determine whether the particular soup 4 has put together is "ready" to be served to the neighborhood animals (which is accomplished by pouring the soup in the bushes or trees surrounding our house or, last summer, by daily pouring the soup on our front sidewalk where it could bake in the hot sun for weeks). On many occasions when I am the taster, I have to tell 4 that I am reluctant to take away from the squirrels, rabbits, bears and other animals who will ultimately be the lucky recipients of his bounty.

On those occasions when we do not feed the soup to the neighborhood animals, we allow 4 to "cook" his soups in our oven. To accomplish this, he just sticks the plastic mixing bowl right in the oven while I "turn on" the oven, using the seldom-used "room temperature" setting. Unfortunately, on several occasions, we have forgotten that 4's soup was "cooking" in the oven and, without looking, will later begin to pre-heat the oven for dinner. Invariably, we will then smell the sweet aroma of wafting pickle juice and burning plastic and will remember that a world-class chef is in training in our midst. How lucky we are. I just hope that he is able to complete his cooking apprenticeship soon.